I have been waiting for this day for four long years now.
I have fought many battles, I have lost some, and won some.
Looking back, I have changed so much.
In grade 9, I was an awkward turtle, bundled up in layers upon layers of clothes that didn't fit me. Desperate to hide my body. I was terrified, I couldn't keep eye contact without feeling nervous, let alone holding up a conversation with a stranger.
By grade 10 I had become what my friends wanted me to become. I had become something I had absolutely despised. I was nothing more than some pathetic, immature, twit. With makeup caked on, and hair dyed anything but my natural colour.
Grade 11, yet again, there was a drastic change. I began to back away from the people I had grown to despise. I had a friend that made me feel okay about myself, and I lightened up the makeup. I compulsively cut my hair, and let the colour fade.
For the first time, in such a long time, while being around people I adored, I began to like myself. So I turned my back on those that hurt me, and I was free.
I figured out there was nothing wrong with me, I'm kind of a cool kid, if I do say so myself.
In grade 12, my final transformation occurred because of the loss of someone I cared for. Eventually, I gave up. It got to the point, where I didn't want to like anyone, I didn't want to care and I didn't want to waste my time. I started working a lot, and became very detached from the people around me. I denied affection, and avoided situations that would involve feeling.
So in turn, people got mad. People walked away from me.
So here I am, sitting in a semi-comfortable chair.
Around some new people.
I can't wait for next year.
I'm finally free.
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